Can we talk about stress for a few minutes? That elephant sitting on your back, seriously crampin’ your style. Not to mention your fertility, girl.
Yes, it’s that powerful!
Stress is something that is all around us. And for many of us, it hangs out all the time, day in and day out.
Stress comes in lots of different forms and can look different to different people. Maybe you’re busy with work and passion projects, you’ve got a killer commute, your a perfectionist, you’re having relationship issues (with your man or a friend even), your working out hard to get that bod of your dreams, you’re moving across country while starting a new business, graduate school, you’re dealing with financial hardships, a family member with serious health issues, trauma from childhood, health issues of your own, etc. Did I hit on anything familiar?
What is stress?
The ability to respond to stress, whether it be truly life-threatening or a response to someone cutting you off during your commute, is an essential physiological function.
For many years in human history, our stress response was the very thing that kept us alive during times of danger when we needed to fight or run for our lives.
Your body responds to moments or periods of stress by switching on your sympathetic nervous system or your “fight or flight” response which is an involuntary reaction (meaning that it would happen whether you thought about it or not). There is a flood of hormones that help boost your alertness and blood flow to large muscle groups, your breath quickens to deliver oxygen to your brain and you get a shot of glucose that fuels your muscles for quick and powerful movement.
But here’s the thing–our bodies were not designed to sit in this sympathetic state full time. And sadly, so many women specifically, are creating very stressful lives. It feels constant, overwhelming and in some cases, impossible to keep up with.
Is stress all bad?
But stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing, by nature. It’s actually a pretty incredible physiological response to the world around us. It’s not just what has helped us survive as humans (hello saber tooth tiger), but it’s also what gives you that excited feeling. It’s the “stress” you feel on a first date, the umph you need to finally start that dream business or go for that big promotion or the giddiness you feel cheering for your team in a big game.
This type of stress is what gives us purpose and excitement in life. And that’s pretty important.
How does stress affect fertility health?
The connection between stress and fertility is pretty epic. Think about it this way–if you’re body is in a state of “fight or flight”, it is focused on surviving and doing what it can to just stay alive. I mean, this is what this nervous system reaction was created for, even though most of us will rarely experience an actual life-threatening situation.
So, if your body is trying to survive, one of the last things it will prioritize is reproduction. Why? Simply put, our bodies are so intelligent and they know the incredible demands of creating a little human (and a brand new organ, the placenta) from scratch. It takes an insane amount of energy and nutrients, not to mention an incredible hormonal orchestra.
If your body sits in that sympathetic state more often than not, your thyroid can down regulate (survival mode) to conserve energy, your adrenal hormones can become elevated or extremely low depending on the extent of the damage from stress and the delicate hormones that govern your menstrual cycle may be completely out of whack. Stress can also significantly lower your sex drive. Too much stress, too often can basically turn your reproductive function off.
To say that stress is debilitating to your fertility is an understatement.
But just because stress can have ill effects on your reproductive health doesn’t mean we have to sit in that. As with so many other aspects of preconception prep, there are so many practices you can implement in your daily life to lower your stress level and create more opportunities for calm within your life.
I want to share a few that you can get started on today to help keep your stress more manageable to help optimize your fertility health. Here goes...
5 Tips to Manage Stress Better
Write out your stressors and decide what has to stay and what needs to go.
Prioritize, is another way to put it. Take a few minutes to sit with a piece of paper or your laptop and write out everything that’s on your plate (both good and exciting as well as things and/or people that you know are creating stress) and any past trauma or experiences that you think you may be contributing to your overall stress level.
Take a few slow, deep breaths then take a few minutes to look over what you wrote down. As you look over the list you made, highlight or circle the items that bring you joy, light your fire, get you excited as well as the items that are non-negotiable and cannot be taken off your plate.
Now, are there items that you noted that you can kindly say “no” to, delegate to your spouse or co-worker or just scratch from your life completely? Are there people or relationships that you noted that you need to set healthier boundaries around? Are there items noted that need some focused attention on that may be challenging, but rewarding once the hard work is completed?
Taking some time to actually step back and look at your stressors and figure out how to prioritize what’s most important based on your current lifestyle and what you’re most able to handle can be incredibly empowering and relieve a huge amount of stress. It’s rarely easy to go through this exercise, but it can be such a helpful practice.
Stop comparing yourself to other women.
Just stop it. God created you just the way He wanted and I can guarantee you, He made no mistakes. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. You are different from every other human being on this planet and I thank the good Lord for that! You have your own look, passions, talents, struggles, interests and those are what make you, you! Learn to celebrate your bio-individuality and focus on the gifts you’ve been given instead of what you wish you had. If you can get good at this practice, I promise you will lower your stress level and live in a more content place.
Open up to your past.
Trauma from your past, whether it be in your childhood or adult years, can be a powerful poison in your brain and body. Though the actual event(s) may have happened years and years ago, the emotions, stress, beliefs, fears, etc. can continue to interfere with your daily life and even manifest themselves physically years later (my favorite book on the subject is called “Healing Your Body” by Louis Hay...it’s incredible).
If you have any kind of trauma in your past, I want to gently encourage you to create a plan that will help you work through this prior to beginning to try for baby.
Get serious about self-care.
I know, it’s so trendy right now, but I am still a big believer in it and I always will be. Self-care encompasses a whole lot more than just getting a massage or doing a hot yoga shesh. These things can give us momentary relief from the stress of our lives and can definitely give us the umph we need to press on, but they don’t necessarily breed true and lasting relief and resilience (as my dear friend Kelly of Ritual Care taught me).
Self-care can be a constant practice that allows you to approach life and the many potentially stressful situations with more intention and grace. Taking just a few minutes to breathe deeply using the 6 for 60 breathing method (or 5-count breath) can be a powerful way to bring your body back into a parasympathetic state (that “rest and digest” mode). Also checking in to see how you’re feeling and what’s going on in your head (“what am I thinking?”) can be a great way to then guide you to what you and your body need to feel your best.
If you want to dig into the self-care piece more, I’d highly recommend the Ritual Care Workshop.
Start each day with a grateful heart.
Gratitude practice is powerful and its a really beautiful way to begin your day. It can put your mind in a positive, joyful space that searches for good rather than all that is wrong or our of your control.
Take a few minutes (even one minute is better than zero!) before you hop out of bed to write down or even just think about what you’re grateful for. You can set a timer as you first begin this practice to help you stay focused or just use it as a more casual practice.
When I begin my morning with this gratitude practice, some Jesus and God’s word, it is incredible how different my mindset is going into the day. I am always so grateful I took the time, even if it’s just a few minutes.
I could literally write a book on this topic alone so there are so many other ways to learn how to better manage stress to optimize your overall health and create a stress-less conception story.
What practices help you deal with stress on the daily? Comment below!
Lots of healthy love!
xo
Justine
